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Sunday, March 20, 2011

I am sure if your reading this and you think I am pissed at you. Your probably right.


I told you that I wanted you to be happy, not that I wanted you to run off and forget that I ever existed. So right now the only thing I am feeling is to tell you to fuck off I am mad!


Saturday, March 5, 2011

What I really meant to say, Is I'm sorry for the way I am

FML  I just don’t know what to do anymore.  I don’t know what’s up, what’s down.  I feel like the whole world has warped around me and is falling apart piece by piece.  I don’t know what to do.  I feel like I'm going mental.  *breaths deep*

Nothing else is really new.  My past keeps sneaking into my head and stealing all my thoughts.  What the hell am I supposed to do.  My emotions are so jacked up right now and I feel like I'm being torn into a hundred pieces. Why does all of this have to be so damn hard, and why can’t I  just find some fucking clarity?

“ I never really wanted you to see, the screwed up side of me that I keep.  Locked inside of me so deep, It always seems to get to me.  I never really wanted you to go, So many things you should have known.  I guess for me there's just no hope, I never meant to be so cold ”

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

RCFM and Getting Things Off my Chest

I was able to get a lot of things off my chest yesterday.  It was very liberating.  It was like I was holding all of these things inside me for so long I felt like I was going to lose my mind.  I had been putting it off for months, thinking I was never going to be able to bring it up.  Knowing now that it has all been said makes me feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders.

Now for the good.  I registered for RCFM yesterday!  It’s my first con.  I can’t wait to go.  Only down side is I don’t really know any one from the area.  I hoping I can make some new friends down here as I just joined the NARF group.  So far they seem like a good group of people.  After being added to the group I received like 13 E-Mails welcoming me to the group.  It’s kind of nice to have people there who don’t want to put you down. 

*Takes a deep breath*

Its nice living life for the first time in a while.